Months ago I told my husband if this Air Force thing works out I was going to blog the crap out of it.
As it turns out the words don’t come as easily when you are in complete emotional upheaval. Or perhaps there’s just not as much to say. It’s possible any words at all diminish the beauty of the story.
As some of you know, this is the second time I am writing this blog as I accidentally erased the first one. Ironically much of the first one was about a story rewritten. While I don’t think this blog is as good as the first, I still believe its a story worth telling.
Pretty early on in our marriage Ben began pursuing a career in the Air Force as an Audio Engineer. In 2010 he applied. He was called back for an audition but was not offered the job. We were disheartened, disappointed, and disillusioned. For the next six years God would begin to water the Air Force path we’d soon take.
In 2015 I mentioned there was an opening for the Air Force Band in San Antonio, Texas (we had been keeping our eyes peeled for years for a Premier Band position in Colorado as it would keep us here long-term and start Ben at a higher rank). Ben laughed and responded, “Yes, but I don’t want to live in Texas”. Fast forward a year to an Air Force Audio Engineer posting in Colorado. He of course applied. In a two month window the position evolved from potential permanent residency in Colorado, to a move in two or three years, to a move in two or three months. There were now two positions to be filled (neither of them local). He was the only one of six candidates offered the job. In God’s good humor the position offered was in… you guessed it- San Antonio,Texas. The day he auditioned I just knew he would get the job. I had no doubts. It was one of the first times in a long time that I physically felt the prayers of so many friends and family that had come alongside.
Colorado is so dear to our hearts. So many of you have made such an impact in our lives. Because of the path you’ve walked with us and your investment into the pages of our story I want to share with you my walk to joy.
Our next ten months looked something like this:
- Early job displacement
- Potential eye disease
- Temporary disqualification
- Permanent disqualification
- Job loss
- A move before ‘the’ move
When I received the news of his temporary disqualification I was packing. I hung up the phone and sat in my newly remodeled dining room.
I remember reflecting, yearning. I didn’t speak these words to God but was speaking them over myself, “I just can’t bear it anymore”. And God whispered to my heart, “I will go and fight on your behalf”. I vaguely remembered hearing that scripture and immediately googled it. It used terminology I had just spoken in my brokenness. You need to know when I tell people we are moving to Texas they tell me two things:
- “It’s really hot there”.
- “The Hill Country, it’s beautiful there”.
I devoured Deuteronomy 1 as the entire scripture spoke about moving His people from the Mountain to the Hill Country. I remember my mother in law asking what God was teaching us through His word the morning of Ben’s final eye exam. I told her I’d pretty much been clinging to Deuteronomy 1 since God gave it to me. Later that day she told my father-in-law, “I don’t know what is going to happen at Ben’s eye appointment but Amy is moving to Texas”.
We moved out of our house in August. I lost my job in September. The day I lost my job my husband received word that he was approved to enlist in the Air Force (This was after a 6 month battle to prove he was a viable potential Airman). Let me remind you we moved out of our house and started renting it before we ‘knew’ we were headed to Texas, compliments of the United States Air Force. We trusted what God continued to affirm in our hearts and through His word. We were in a constant state of stepping into the cold deep waters not even seeing a boat in site.
We have been ‘doing it scared’ for months now, continually putting our icy cold feet from one deep water to the next. And God hasn’t really let up on this whole faith thing. We have been very strategic and intentional in planning and even now as we move to San Antonio in four days I have no idea where we will live. But I trust God will be faithful to what he began whispering to my heart all those months ago.
There were seasons early on in our marriage, when God began writing our story, that I wanted to literally tear out pages. Pages that didn’t seem to fit the story I’d plotted and planned. Pages that I now see in a much larger narrative. It’s the rising action of a story, the conflict, the complications that open the door to the climax, the resolution. These pages are what make a story worth telling, worth reading. So many of you are part of that story. I am filled with more gratitude and joy than ever before, in any other season of my life, and it has been wrought with more pain and uncertainty than any other season of my life.
As God continues to write and rewrite the story in the second half of our book I am eager to see how he develops the characters. I can’t imagine a love deeper than the one I currently have for my spouse. I can’t imagine characters more beautiful than the ones He’s already surrounded us with. And yet He continues to rewrite, whiting out the story I’d written and penning His story, His words all over the pages. And it’s beautiful. So much more lovely than anything I could have written myself.
Isaiah 43:English Standard Version (ESV)
19 Behold, I am doing a new thing;
now it springs forth, do you not perceive it?
I will make a way in the wilderness
and rivers in the desert.